


How Much Can You Forgive?

by imnotcrazyiswear, KilljoysNeverDie



Series: Of Tricksters and Archangels [6]
Category: Supernatural, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Disappointment, Feels, Magic, Verbal Fighting, Wings, Ásgarðr | Asgard (realm)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:46:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1420198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imnotcrazyiswear/pseuds/imnotcrazyiswear, https://archiveofourown.org/users/KilljoysNeverDie/pseuds/KilljoysNeverDie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki is dead and Gabriel tries to find out how that could happen.<br/>Or, isn't he dead?</p>
            </blockquote>





	How Much Can You Forgive?

**Author's Note:**

> I think this is/can be really confusing and a little pointless without the other parts of the series.

Actually he had intended to go straight after Loki and Thor – well, the other way Loki had showed to him – but get to go to Asgard as fast as possible just _somehow_. Unfortunately Heaven had trouble getting all the souls that belonged there and he had to talk to Crowley – which was King of Hell by now. That took some time and bringing the souls back wasn’t exactly easy, as well. And since no one else wanted to do it Gabriel had to do all the work himself.  
  
He still listened to everything he could hear from everywhere. It was pretty tiering since it took a lot of effort to be on all the places at the same time but in the end it was worth it. Well, the news he got out of it weren’t what he wanted to hear at all but it was _something_ _at all_.  
  
“Loki is dead.” He was with Castiel trying to support his brother as good as possible when he heard it. Castiel couldn’t even ask any questions about it – the archangel was already gone.  
  
He remembered where the first path was and he remembered the spell he had used to make himself invisible, as well. He even found the second path faster than he would have dared imagined.  
  
When he saw the water again he didn’t even bother looking for the boat they used the last time. He just brought himself and his wings into the same reality and rose into the air until he was high enough to look at everything around him and fell down until he kept himself two or three feet over the water. He would have used the kind of flying where it was just 'teleporting' but he didn't even know where exactly he was going so he preferred the slower version.  
  
He knew exactly _who_ he wanted to find though, and he would find him. He had seen his energy field before and that helped a lot. Even though it took him a little longer than he would have thought. Loki’s dead was almost more upsetting than when he killed Lucifer.  
  
Finally he found who he was looking for. It was quite nice there. A lot of green and colorful flowers and small trees, but he couldn’t really concentrate on that.  
  
He stood next to Thor without any emotions showing on his face. “I thought you locked him in. How did he manage to get killed? Just tell me how.”  
  
Not even surprised the god of thunder looked up, a sad expression on his face. He didn’t care how Gabriel managed to get into his mother’s private gardens, or why none of the guardians had noticed the archangel. Thor still mourned the deaths of Loki, his mother and countless other asgardians and humans.  
  
“How did you find out about the death of Loki?” He simply asked and looked down on the golden flower in his hand. The god remembered how Gabriel had said he was Loki’s guardian. _Why did he not protect your little brother then?_ A bitter voice in his head asked. _Why did_ you _not protect your little brother?_  
  
Thor shook his head. The Loki who got killed hadn’t been his little brother anymore.  
  
Gabriel sighed silently. “I think I asked first, didn’t I?”  
  
He thought about it for a second. “I don’t even know who exactly it was. Or what. I had my senses everywhere and tried to find out even the smallest bit of information. I just kind of knew.” He turned his eyes at Thor again.  
  
“I wish I had known what was going on. But when no one prays or tries to reach me otherwise… but _what happened_.” He knew that the angry sound in his voice wasn’t necessary but for once he didn’t care that his true feelings slipped through. He had lost too much.  
  
Thor laughed a humorless laugh. The archangel was powerful, but bad at hiding his feelings.  
  
“You loved Loki like I loved him.” The god of thunder stated and looked up at the sky, where a storm was building up.  
  
“Only because of that, I shall tell you what happened to him.”  
  
For a few heartbeats, Thor was observing the other man’s face, only to find his own pain reflected in it. He cleared his throat and began to speak softly.  
  
“Loki aided me in the quest to destroy the Aether. We entered the realm of the dark elves, where Loki died fighting. He died a honorable death.”  
  
“Right, I did love him. More than my own brothers – or that is what I try to tell myself. I lost three of my brothers in just one year and now him.” Gabriel clenched his teeth. “And now you are telling me you let him be free for some time – because you needed his help – and you couldn’t even protect him properly?” His eyes got darker and he stared at his feet to not say something even more stupid. Probably he behaved unfair but he didn’t try to be very angelic at that moment.  
  
“I tried to protect him!” Thor answered angrily, a thunder underlining his mood.  
  
“Where were _you_? His so called _guardian_? When Loki died in my arms, apologizing over and over again, where were _you_?”  
  
Crossing his arms, the god tried to calm his heavy breathing. Gabriel had no right to talk with him like that!  
  
“You did not know him like I did! I loved Loki dearly, but he was reckless and loved drama! How was I supposed to protect Loki from our enemies, when I failed to protect him from himself?”  
  
Gabriel laughed breathy. “Where I've been? I am not an official guardian as long as he didn’t plan to become a prophet of my religion. Maybe it would have helped if someone had just told me what was going on! I don’t even expect any prayers but just a single word would have been enough. And besides that _I_ have to play some kind of a ruler back home. I wish my brother would return so I could live my life again! He is my older brother. Supposed to make sure that I’m fine. He probably isn’t even dead, I got betrayed by him then. No one gave me a chance to protect those who I loved.” He frowned angrily.  
  
“If you would have given me a chance back then… I would have kept him company. I would have given him something to spend his days with so he couldn’t do anything dangerous. But no. No, you are the god of us two. I am just the one who has to protect Heaven and earth with all my family dead or gone.”  
  
Thor swallowed and looked at the flowers that surrounded them. A low sigh escaped him. Gabriel had got a point. “I am truly sorry about your family, but I also do everything that is possible to protect midgard.” He paused shortly and looked over to the archangel. “That Loki got imprisoned was not my decision.”  
  
A bit angrily the god of thunder shook his head. Midgard had changed him for the better. But it made his brother worse. After the incident in New York everything that had been left of Loki had vanished. It had been safer to cage the god of mischief, but maybe – just maybe – it would’ve been better to let Gabriel take care of Loki.  
  
“We all try to save humanity in a way. Or at least their world… I am sorry. For what you lost.” he wasn’t just talking about Loki as Thor’s brother. He was talking about all the things they did together and their relationship with each other. It all seemed a second version of his own relationship to Lucifer. Gabriel sighed and shook his head.  
  
“Would you answer me another question?” He didn’t even wait for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’. “Who was the one deciding what would happen when it wasn’t you?” He glanced over to the god.  
  
The god nodded shortly and sighed another time.  
  
With his gaze fixed on the palace, Thor frowned.  
  
“It was my fathers decision.” He answered softly.  
  
“He is the king, the all father, Odin. It was his burden to decide how to proceed with Loki.”  
  
The god of thunder shook his head. That was one of the reasons why he didn’t want the throne. There would surely come a time where he had to make decisions he didn’t want to make.  
  
Gabriel nodded slowly.  
  
“Let me talk to him. Just shortly. I will even try to stay perfectly calm if you wish so. Just for a minute or two.” His voice was softer than before and more silent.  
  
“I can always try to find the way myself but that would probably bring some trouble with it which we both wouldn’t like, right?”  
  
For a moment the god considered to say no, but then again, Gabriel _was_ powerful enough to kill every guard on his way inside if he wanted. It would be better to take the peaceful alternative.  
  
“Alright, I shall introduce you to father.”  
  
Taking in another breath and inhaling the smells of the flowers, the god of thunder nodded at the archangel and started to walk in the direction of the palace. It wasn’t a long march until they reached the huge doors, which lead into the thrones room.  
  
Gabriel was relieved that the god chose to say yes. It would have been unnecessary bloody and it probably wouldn’t have been a good first impression of himself.  
  
He quietly followed Thor and looked at everything and everyone they passed. It was probably even more impressive than he remembered from last time.  
  
“Please behave yourself. Since my mother’s death, Odin has changed.” Thor quietly said.  
  
He nodded at one of the guards standing in front of the door, who quickly opened it. Slowly, Thor stepped trough the half opened door, not waiting for the archangel to follow him.  
  
On the throne sat Odin lazily looking around the hall. When Thor came into his view the older god stood up and smiled slightly.  
  
“Thor, my son, I did not await you. And you bring a guest when I see right. What is your concern?”  
  
The god of thunder kneeled and kept his eyes fixed on the ground, until his father motioned him to stand back up again.  
  
“Father, this is Gabriel. He wishes to talk with you.”  
  
Thor nodded in the archangels direction, hoping he wouldn’t make his father furious.  
  
Gabriel wasn’t really sure what to do but he decided for just standing next to Thor would be the best place for him to be. Nothing would make him kneel down here but he didn’t want to stand at the door either.  
  
“It would be nice if you had some time for me indeed.” His lips curved into a slight smile. Why should he be all polite and angelic when he just wanted to have some answers before he disappeared again – and hopefully forever – back to the place he called home.  
  
Odin analyzed his guest for a long time before he looked a Thor.  
  
“I wish to speak alone with my guest.” He said in a calm voice that reminded Thor of the times Odin bargained with enemies in times of war.  
  
The god of thunder shot Gabriel a warning look before he left the hall and took the guards with him.  
  
As soon as Odin was alone with the archangel he pointed his golden spear at the door and the colored windows which quickly got sealed with a golden light.  
  
A small smile on his lips, the older god turned to Gabriel.  
  
When he heard that he would be alone with Odin Gabriel didn’t know how to react. It was what he wanted, somehow. Time and peace to talk. But at the same time he was something between confused and slightly upset. What in Heaven, earth and Hell could he want that he sealed windows and doors. Gabriel didn’t like where this was going. Not at all.  
  
Odin took a few steps in Gabriel direction, the smile never left his face.  
  
“You entered Asgard without my noticing.” The all father said.  
  
“How?”  
  
Gabriel chuckled silently and just shrugged. “I think I know just a little more than I should. Well, I learn fast and don’t forget.”  
  
He started looking around inconspicuously – looking for a way he could use to escape, just in case. Unfortunately he couldn’t find anything.  
  
The allfather let out a low chuckle, before he crossed the distance between him an Gabriel with a few big steps.  
  
“What do you want now that you are here?” Odin asked dangerously soft.  
  
Gabriel sighed. They were all so unnecessarily dramatic.  
  
“For now I just want to know why and how you came to the decision that locking Loki away had been the best thing to do. We see where that lead and I just want to know why. For now.” He probably couldn’t win a fight but he could at least bring some destruction over the city.  
  
Odin, well Loki, laughed again.  
  
“Oh, I sadly do not know that. You should ask Odin about it.”  
  
Looking Gabriel dead in the eye the god took a step backwards and golden light began to surround him.  
  
Gabriel’s face got totally blank and he had to hold his breath to keep calm. The energy shifted together with the god in front of him and Gabriel thought about turning around and trying to get out of there.  
  
When the golden light faded a different god stood before the archangel. It was the black haired one, the one with the mad green eyes and slender face.  
  
He chuckled at Gabriel’s blank face, feeling a bit bad that he hadn’t told the archangel what was going on.  
  
Gabriel clenched his hands to fists and closed his eyes for a second. He should really just leave. “No. I’m sick of losing everyone that I care about. And when I think about destroying just everything … poof … just kidding I’m not really dead.” His voice was silent and calm and he couldn’t help the silent but a little hysterical laugh that came over his lips when he finished talking.  
  
Loki held his hands up in defense.  
  
“Gabriel, I am _sorry_!” He softly said and swallowed the lump in his throat.  
  
“It was not planned.” The god of mischief really felt guilty when he looked at his friends face. Carefully, he took another step forward.  
  
He turned around and started walking around the room, he just had to move somehow.  
  
“Because it’s just me. You can do stuff like this to me I am used to it by now, I know…” he mumbled while walking. He looked everywhere but at Loki, avoiding his eyes the whole time and trying to calm the storm down that started inside of him.  
  
Sighing, Loki sat down on the stairs that lead to the throne and looked down on his hands. He wasn’t supposed to feel so bad, after all he was Loki, god of chaos, lies and mischief!  
  
“Let me explain, at least.” He whispered silently and focused on Gabriel.  
  
Gabriel frowned angrily and stood for a second before he turned back to face Loki again and sighed on the inside. “Try it.” He decided then. It couldn’t get much worse, could it?  
  
For a moment Loki observed his friend and then nodded.  
  
“I told you they would kill me if I failed and I did fail.” He began softly, looking down on his hands again.  
  
“I could not hide anywhere. Sooner or later they would have marched into Asgard, just to kill me. So when I saw the opportunity, I took it.”  
  
“And you had not a single second to let me at least feel or even hear _any_ _thing_? I didn’t expect much. Just _some_ _thing_ to know you are okay.” That couldn’t have been too much, could it?  
  
Loki looked down and swallowed. He had thought about it, really. He had thought about talking or even _praying_ to Gabriel, but his pride had been in his way.  
  
“I am _sorry_ , Gabriel!” Loki whispered and cleared his throat.  
  
Slowly, the archangel nodded. “Me too, Loki, I am sorry, too.”  
  
He looked at him for a long second. “But now that I know you are okay I can leave and try to keep myself busy, right?” He didn’t even hesitate before he started walking to the door. “Let me out, would you?”  
  
A desperate look entered his face when Loki stood up and walked over to Gabriel.  
  
“Gabriel, _please_!” The god said practically begging.  
  
“Forgive me!”  
  
Loki felt so bad for disappointing the archangel again and he didn’t want Gabriel to leave.  
  
Gabriel turned faster to face the god than it would have been possible for a human and fixed Loki’s eyes with his and breathed calmly for some moments.  
  
“It’s not that easy, forgiveness. And even when I do … trust is another thing. I know what I got myself into when I started spending tine with the God of Mischief, but you have to understand me, too. It’s been a rough year for me.” He didn’t know if he could really trust him again any time soon.  
  
Loki nodded sadly. He took a step back and swallowed.  
  
“You can go if you wish so.” He said and unlocked the doors.  
  
“But I am begging you if you can look at me without distrust again, come back.”  
  
The god walked back to the throne, and with every step he took he changed more into Odin again.  
  
Gabriel watched Loki while he walked back and closed his eyes before he disappeared without another word. Instead he left one of the golden-red feathers fall to the floor. The one who carried an angels feather was able to talk to them no matter how far they were away from each other. Is was an offer that could help Loki get all of Gabriel’s trust back. The angel cared too much about him to just go without a look back.  
  
When Gabriel disappeared Loki turned back around. Frowning he looked at the feather and picked it up.  
  
A small smile formed on his lips as he put it in his pocket. Maybe it would take some time until their friendship would be the same as before, but it would be worth the wait.  
  
 _Until next time, brother._ The god thought slightly smiling and sat down on the throne.


End file.
